by Belle
Google has taken up farmin' - a noble pursuit here in the South - and I recently learned they're gonna spend $600 million to build a high-faultin' farm in the foothills of Lenoir, North Carolina. Google's crop, however, will not be the regional staple - tobacco - but data servers.
Google's proposed server farm is great news for the locals, who are a bit removed from the high-tech corridor known as the Triangle - Raleigh, Durham and Chapel Hill.
Lenoir is in a much smaller, rural area, and the area's economy has been hard-hit by the loss of manufacturing jobs, including layoffs by furniture makers like Broyhill. (Whenever I hear that brand name, I immediately think of Rod Roddy announcing a Price Is Right showcase that includes a complete dining room full of furniture by Broyhill. "Come on down!")
Here at Blogabillies we are excited about Google's move to the South. It does raise some interesting questions, though, and I'd like to open a few of them for discussion here.
First off, with the possibility of 200 new jobs, no telling how many high-tech rednecks (and no, that is not an oxymoron) are gonna be lining up to git 'r done at Google. So will a redneck who goes to work for Google be called a Googleneck?
Is it true that Search will now be called Hunt? Will new algorithms throw back results that allow you to chase rabbit trails, making your search take a heck of a lot longer but making sure you have a good time and enjoy the scenery in the process - complete with a glass of sweet tea and a "Y'all come back, now" at the end?
Related to that question is how Googlenecks would handle the oh-so-polite "did you mean" response to misspelled search terms. You know that we Southerners are constitutionally incapable of being concise. Why say just two words when two sentences - shoot, two paragraphs - are much better at conveying just exactly what you want to say?And if we're forced to use only a few words, our drawl becomes even more pronounced, with each word getting at least one extra syllable.
I can imagine this -
(click screenshot to enlarge)
turning into this -
(click screenshot to enlarge)
But here's the one that really has me excited. Will YouTube become . . .
One last bit of advice I'd like to pass along to Google as they prepare to move to God's country: "Don't be evil - or we'll knock you clear into next week."
Ok, the word "Ya'llTube" is seriously the most hilarious thing I have heard in AGES!!!! You had me laughing out loud in my office like a hyena :)
Posted by: laurie | January 26, 2007 at 06:32 PM
I thought rednecks could spell hi falutin'
Gladys Hardy
Posted by: Connie M Reece | January 26, 2007 at 08:03 PM
Laurie!!! If I made you laugh out loud in your office then I have hit hillbilly-bloggin' heaven! I can't possibly count the number of times you have caused me to snort coffee or spill guacamole on my keyboard. Crazy Aunt Purl is one of my all-time favorite reads.
In fact, I was thinking about asking your permission to feature one of your posts over here at Blogabillies. My favorite one is probably the story about Dandy Don Gandy. Now, that is some fine storytellin'.
Thanks for stoppin' by for a visit. Come back anytime - and bring your knitting. I'll drag out my crochet hook, open a bottle of merlot, and we'll sip one, purl two. Or is that purl one, sip two . . .
Posted by: Belle | January 26, 2007 at 08:20 PM
Gladys, hon, you crack me up! I'm gonna have to get me a spell-checker that knows redneck.
Posted by: Belle | January 26, 2007 at 08:23 PM
Dear Belle,
Great story, but I have one teensy little bone to pick with you.
>>>>You know that we Southerners are constitutionally incapable of being concise. Why say just two words when two sentences - shoot, two paragraphs - are much better at conveying just exactly what you want to say?<<<
This is patently untrue. Here's how I think the Googleneck hunt screen would read when presented with a misspelled term:
Do Whut???
(Altho perhaps when presented with two misspellings in a row, the rejoinder might be: "Spell it right, Bubba, or I'm gonna knock a pump knot on your haid.")
Bless your heart, I enjoyed the post otherwise.
Posted by: Laurie | January 27, 2007 at 03:39 PM
Belle, you are spot on in your assesment of the Google situation. And considering that most people watch YouTube to see some old boy light up a mouthful of Everclear or other dubiously dangerous redneck activities like smashing a can of WD-40 with a hammer (so you can show the world how you look wearing a fireball the size of Dekalb, GA), it is only right and appropriate that Google should throw some employment this way. Your brilliant Y'allTube is a better name anyway considering the aforementioned sentence.
Also, any Southerner worth his or her drawl knows that, when fishing down here, you will notice little bubbles now and then, rising up from a turtle or a snake or a catfish burp (or some other gas not mentioned in polite company). That is officially known to serious anglers as a google.
Your blog makes me wonder how the Germans and Japanese and Koreans who all built gianormous automobile manufacturing plants in the South over the last few years have adjusted to Southern culture (or our search for some).
Good Job!
Posted by: Terry Taylor | January 27, 2007 at 11:55 PM
Laurie Jan (to distinguish you from the first Laurie who posted), you make a good point. "Do whut?" and its first cousin "say huh?" are classic, concise Southern statements. In fact, they're sort of like the word "aloha" in Hawaiian - they can mean hello, goodbye, I love you, kiss my grits, etc.
Perhaps Yahoo!'s Southern search engine might respond with a snarky "Do whut?", but Google's system is like the prim, bespectacled, tight-bunned librarian who just insists on helping you find what you need on the reference shelves.
Perhaps you'll write a guest post for Blogabillies one day and explain to us the etymology of the expression, "reserved for me for all times, ever and ever, period, no-nothin's, safety." :-)
Posted by: Belle | January 28, 2007 at 05:45 PM
Terry, I have a question about the Everclear and WD-40 -- are you speaking from first-hand experience? :-)
Posted by: Belle | January 28, 2007 at 05:48 PM
I have my sad share of tales, but those two in particular are YouTubed below.
WD-40: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LZiU3TRnfu8
One of many face fires: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rshvSIPN17g
Posted by: Terry Taylor | January 29, 2007 at 06:35 AM
Hey, Belle, I just looked up "blogabilly" on Wikipedia and they had no listing! Maybe you oughtta to run right over there and set 'um straight.
Posted by: Suzanne Lambert | February 15, 2007 at 11:57 PM
Suzanne, that is an excellent idea. I have a feeling that rednecks are sorely underrepresented on the cyberelite Wikipedia. LOL
Posted by: Belle | February 17, 2007 at 09:01 PM