Britney Shaved Again

by T-Bone

First she's marrying guys for a week at a stretch, then having babies, then running around LA with no undies but his time, it's her head that's shaved. I know it's hard to keep up with the sad demise of Anna Nicole Smith, but now we've got Britney to keep track of too.

Is Britney Spears having just a little bit of an identity crisis, or is she just imitating crazy for the PR?

Maybe she's just working a new publicity angle that is as old as the nine commandments (the one about lusting after your neighbor's farm animal got Pluto'd, I hear): It doesn't matter what they say about you as long as they spell your name right. That's Britney with one 't'. Got it?

Is it just me ,or does Britney have a fixation on Sinead O'Connor and Demi Moore? Both shaved, one posed preggers on a mag cover. But neither hang with Paris Hilton and both wear underwear (last time I checked). Britney 12, SineadDemi 7.

If girls just want to have fun, Britney is having more than her share. She is a human billboard for having too much time and money in your pants.

Did I mention that Britney is Southern? Never would have guessed, would you?

Maybe she's got a new CD coming out. Let me guess the title: "I Made Too Much Too Fast And Since The Talent Thing Is Iffy At Best, I Need To Crank Up The Face Time Harder Than Prince In A Bad Doo-Rag And A Penis-Shaped Guitar Because I'm Feeling A Little Like Karl Rove Trying To Get Into A Hillary Clinton Fundraiser  These Days So I'm Yanking Off My Panties And My Hair And Hoping People Keep Looking At Me Like A Celebrity Wreck On The Freeway – Oh And I Hate You Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood And Girl, You Know I Hate You, Christina Aguilera."

I am afraid what will happen next. But one thing's for sure -- we can't look away.

Comments

[Mondrian]

And now she's getting some kind of professional help (thank God) according to Entertainment Tonight (my favorite source of news). And they know everything about poor Britney, tossing every ugly, drunken, sad, meltdown detail camerside. They talked about the poor girl for an hour, maybe four. I now know where she eats, drinks and parties as well as her brand of cologne. She shaved her legs beside the pool at her hotel – wearing a blue wig, a bikini and cowboy boots. I think they said she flossed twice a day but I can't be sure. They left no hair unturned and even had some reporter standing in a beauty shop holding Britney's shorn locks like they'd found the hair of Sampson in an archeological dig. Then, of course, they had to leave Britney's situation and jump back on the Anna Nicole Smith afterlife frenzy.

Meanwhile, more American soldiers and Iraqi citizens die in Iraq – and somehow, American taxpayers lost $10 billion dollars through fraud in Operation Iraqi Bungle. I think I'd like to hear about that news because Britney has a lot of money on her own. Uncle Sam is using mine over there in the desert.

[Kami Huyse]

I think she cut it off because she fried it with all the color changes. Bad idea though, her kind of publicity is the "to be avoided" kind.

[Barney]

Whatever goes in your body is stored in your hair, like the rings of a tree. With long hair, you can tell what exactly a person has been ingesting for a long time. It's like your computer's cookies. Not something you want a custody judge to get ahold of if you have been doing bad things.